February 2012
2 posts
“What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything....”
– Pedro Arrupe, SJ (1907-1991)
Mangyari Lamang by Rico Abelardo
Mangyari lamang ay tumayo ang mga nagmahal nang makita ng lahat ang mukha ng pag- ibig ipamalas ang tamis ng malalim na pagkakaunawaan sa mga malabo ang paningin
Mangyari lamang ay tumayo rin ang mga nagmahal at nasawi nang makita ng lahat ang mga sugat ng isang bayani ipadama ang pait ng kabiguan habang ipinagbubunyi ang walang katulad na kagitingan ng isang...
January 2012
1 post
December 2011
1 post
November 2011
1 post
During Theo 131 Fr. Dacanay was discussing about...
"Fr. Dacanay points to a student*
Fr. Dacanay: "You! What is the North Star called?"
Student A: "Polaris?"
*Fr. Dacanay calls on another student*
Fr. Dacanay: "What is the North Star called?"
Student B "Polaris"
*Class getting scared. Fr. D calls on Student C*
Fr. Dacanay: "How about the South Star?"
Student C: "South Star?"
Fr. Dacanay: "The East Star?"
Student D: "East Star sir???, Eastern Star???"
Fr. Dacanay: "The West Star?"
Student E: "West Star sir?"
Fr. Dacanay to the whole class: "The Middle Star?"
*Class is really afraid now*
Fr. Dacanay *with a straight face*: "Bituin" (Between)
October 2011
3 posts
Overheard mourns the passing of alumnus and mentor...
Honors and applause now! For as the immortal bard once wrote: “Gentle breath of yours my sails must fill, or else my project fails, which was to please. Now I want spirits to enforce, art to enchant, and my ending is despair, unless I be relieved by prayer, which pierces so that it assaults mercy itself and frees all faults. As you from crimes would pardoned be, let your...
“Greg, you’re like a little brother to me!”
– Emman Monfort (at the Thanksgiving Mass)
3 tags
September 2011
1 post
August 2011
1 post
July 2011
3 posts
Friend 1: Use CHED in a sentence.
Friend 2: Pano?
Friend 3: College classes are now officially suspended. JUST CHEDDENG!
“Edad lang nadagdag satin noh, hindi gills!!!”
– people complaining about Ateneo’s late suspension of classes
3 tags
June 2011
16 posts
“Go freshmen! We upperclassmen are behind you every step of the way!
Seryoso,...”
– Ysa Legaspi
(Inside the trike to Ateneo)
Student (to a friend sa back ride): Are you okay?
Friend: K lang.
Mamang Trike Driver: I know right!
(two male blockmates in the first row making long humming noises)
Blockmate A: nnnnnggggggggggggggg...
Blockmate B: nnnnnggggggggg...
Blockmate A: Pare, ganyan rin ba tunog ng refrigerator niyo???
After 12 years of studying Chinese...
English Prof: Who here speaks a foreign language aside from tagalog AND english
Students: Uhh.. Chinese?
English Prof: Okay. Give me a Chinese word that cannot be directly translated into an english word
Chinese students: Uhhh...
Student: Uhm.. Uhmm.. Sss.... SIOMAI???
“Diba pag TBA yung prof, ibig sabihin ba nun, si Tito Boy Abunda prof ko?”
Bagyong ADAMSON este FALCON
UE = Uy Evacuate! NU = Nako Umulan UST = Uy Stranded Tayo DLSU = Di Lang Sa Uste ADMU = Ay Damn, Maski Us? UP = Umapaw Potek CSB = Chong San Banda? SBC = Sa Bewang Chong FEU = Fuck Etong Ulan! LPU = Lubog Pati Us! UBELT - Umuulan, Binabaha. Exasperating Langoy na Tayo
“Guys, bilis!!! Ma-le-late na tayo!!!! ‘Di pa natin alam san ‘tong...”
– random freshie
Student1: I wanna join babble. Yung ihinahagis nila midair.
Student2: Bakit naman?
Student1: Kasi, for once in my life, I wanna be assured that someone will catch me when I fall. Kahit literal lang.
Student2: Drama mo teh. :))
Them Freshmen
Girl 1: Hey, what's B?
Girl 2: Oh, that's Berkley.
Girl 1: Ohh okay. Where's that?
Girl 2: Uhm, I think that's the one near MVP with the statue of a man.
Girl 1: Okay. What's K?
Girl 2: Kostka.
Girl 1: SHIT. I have to cross the street outside of school just to go to class?!
“My gosh, wala ba silang knife dito?”
– Freshie at the caf
“When I see the trees, I see them as living things, like ents. This is...”
– Th121 Prof (using LOTR as an example to explain faith)
SA21 Class
Professor: You're late Miss *****
Student: Yes, I'm so sorry Sir.
Professor: To be fair, you must do what the class just did before you arrived. (we never did anything before she arrived)
Professor: Raise your hands and sway them singing "SA21! SA21! SA21!"
Student: *does the cheer*
Professor: I was just kidding. We never do foolish things here. But there are foolish things in store for this class.
Hi16 Prof: What's the first thing you do when taking a test?
Student: Basahin yung instructions.
Hi16 Prof: What do you do after that?
Student: Iyak.
“Kung ayaw ng mga magulang niyo na nababago ang mga paniniwala niyo, sabihin niyo...”
– Sir Jope
Regcomm person: You’re a freshman? Student: Nope. Senior. Regcomm person: Whoops! Joke. Wala ka kasing eyebags.
Overheard at the Ateneo de Manila Version 2.0 →
More goods, more bads, more fails, more WTF’s, more FTW’s.
March 2011
1 post
“Ang tanong ko sa Atenista, hanggang saan ang pagiging Man for Others mo? Gaano...”
– President Benigno S. Aquino III (Commencement Address, 25 March 2011)
January 2011
2 posts
October 2010
4 posts
September 2010
2 posts
One Big Fight!
Salamat: sabi nila coach mahina daw tayo, Tinalo tayo ng FEU 2 points sa game one, sa game two naman 3pts.
Coach Norman: Then let's beat them combined those points.
Monfort: So 5 pts, coach?
Buenafe: Anak ng $^*$^*, combined nga eh, 23!
Monfort: Sorry, simpleng tao lang.
Salamat: Ok, One Big Fight!
July 2010
7 posts
“Remember that in the long history, it is when Ateneans are down and beaten that...”
– Migoy Lizada
Prayer before a Theology quiz.
Teacher: Please reward our preparation and let the right answers come forth. But if we failed to prepare as we should, please help us to create, as You do, out of nothing.
Class: AMEN!
THE Law
Law Professor: So class, kapag may couple na nag-sesex sa grass, what law was violated?
Student: Sir! Keep off the Grass!
Photocopy Station
Guy1 (may hawak na ipapaphotocopy): Pare, haba ng pila no?
Guy2 (may hawak rin): Oo nga e.
Guy1: Dami ko pa namang babasahin pang-SA. Ano iyan, Philo?
Guy2: Oo
Guy1: Sino prof mo?
Guy2: Ako yung prof.
Guy1: @_____________@ Sir pala dapat tawag ko sa iyo.... Sir.
Now Na
Tricycle Driver 1: Tara!
Tricylce Driver 2: Now na?
Tricycle Driver 1: "Now na" ampuuuchaaaaaa...
*snickering of other drivers in the background*
How I Met Your Mother
Guy1: Pare, did you watch how i met your mother last night?
Guy2: Huh? Kailan kagabi?
Guy1: Oo, dude. Ano?
Guy2: Hindi kita nakita sa bahay ko kagabi, kailan mo nakilala?
Guy1: Huh?
(awkward silence)
Guy1: The fuck, pare... show yun. di ko kilala nanay mo.
June 2010
2 posts
ROTC
Officer: Ikaw.. *points to a cadet* 'Pag pinagawa ba kita ng 10,000 push-ups, gagawin mo ba?
Cadet: Sir, no sir.
Officer: (He seems appalled with the answer.) Baket?! Eh 'pag pinagawa kita ng sampung push-ups, gagawin mo ba?!
Cadet: Sir, yes sir!
Officer: Bakit yung sampung push-ups gagawin mo tapos yung 10,000 push-ups hindi mo gagawin, ha? Ano ba difference ng dalawa?!
Cadet: Sir.. uh... 9,990 sir!
Officer: (Sumusugod na) Ginagago mo ba 'ko?!
May 2010
1 post
Prof: Gusto mo ng joke?
Student: ?
Prof: Papasa ka :>
Student: @_@
April 2010
5 posts
German translation gone bad.
Teacher : Ich komme aus Osterreich. (I come from Austria.)
Student : What? She's an ostrich?
Nerd
Teacher A: Its no wonder students caught the plagiarized parts in MVP's speech. Daming nerds dito no. Pwedeng kabisado iba't-ibang speech. Meron nga'ng alam ang national anthem ng...
Teacher B: *remembers a specific student* ...Afghanistan!